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Mark Twain

Mark Twain

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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

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Perfect humility dispenses with modesty.

Woody Allen

Woody Allen

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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Thomas Sowell

Thomas Sowell

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The most fundamental fact about the ideas of the political left is that they do not work. Therefore we should not be surprised to find the left concentrated in institutions…

Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan

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Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things. It is the continuous revolution of the marketplace. It is the understanding that allows us to…

Friedrich Nietzsche

Friedrich Nietzsche

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What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness.

Christopher Morley

Christopher Morley

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There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen.

Samuel Johnson

Samuel Johnson

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A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Vladimir Nabokov

Vladimir Nabokov

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I confess, I do not believe in time.

Frank Moore Colby

Frank Moore Colby

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Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.

Tom Stoppard

Tom Stoppard

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Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin

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A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

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I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person who was supposed to provide them with a melody never showed…

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Oliver Wendell Holmes

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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson

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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando

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Would people applaud me if I was a good plumber?

Philip L. Gramm

Philip L. Gramm

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I didn't come to Washington to be loved and I haven't been disappointed.

Jack Handey

Jack Handey

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To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and…

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

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No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same…

Marcel Proust

Marcel Proust

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For each illness that doctors cure with medicine, they provoke ten in healthy people by inoculating them with the virus that is a thousand times more powerful than any microbe:…

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

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In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West -- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford…

William Jennings Bryan

William Jennings Bryan

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Scientists make a guess and call it a hypothesis. 'Guess' is too short a word for a professor.

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

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The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

Francis Bacon

Francis Bacon

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A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.

Theodore Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt

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Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering.

Elbert Hubbard

Elbert Hubbard

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Progress comes from the intelligent use of experience.

Author Unknown

Author Unknown

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We give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

Confucius

Confucius

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A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.

Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut

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New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.

Chris Bowyer

Chris Bowyer

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How else can you fight God but to pretend He doesn't exist?

Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein

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Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa

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I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.

David Gemmell

David Gemmell

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A man who never made a mistake never made anything.

Isaac Disraeli

Isaac Disraeli

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Quotations, like much better things, has its abuses.

W. Somerset Maugham

W. Somerset Maugham

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Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra

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If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.

Clarence Thomas

Clarence Thomas

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Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.

Calvin Coolidge

Calvin Coolidge

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The right thing to do never requires any subterfuge, it is always simple and direct.

Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin

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Would you live with ease? Do what you ought, not what you please.

Marlon Brando

Marlon Brando

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An actor's a guy, who if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

J.R.R. Tolkien

J.R.R. Tolkien

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Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of…

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.

Gene Roddenberry

Gene Roddenberry

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We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes.

John Donne

John Donne

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Love is a growing, to full constant light; and his first minute, after noon, is night.

Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert

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'It will obliterate your senses!' reports David Gillin, who obviously writes autobiographically.

Dwight Eisenhower

Dwight Eisenhower

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From this day forward, the millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural schoolhouse, the dedication of our nation and our people…

Henry Thoreau

Henry Thoreau

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To be awake is to be alive.

Jason Mechalek

Jason Mechalek

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A brain has to digest its food, too.

C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

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We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship.

Wayne Dyer

Wayne Dyer

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Arguing is really saying, ''If you were really more like me, then I could like you better.

Erna Bombeck

Erna Bombeck

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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

John Wayne

John Wayne

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I stopped getting the girl about ten years ago. Which is just as well because I'd forgotten what I wanted her for.

Theodore Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt

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The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name.

Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson

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Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate.

George Patton

George Patton

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The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That's the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have…

GK Chesterton

GK Chesterton

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The only defensible war is a war of defense.

Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman

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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Nachman of Bratslav

Nachman of Bratslav

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An angry man is unfit to pray.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr.

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Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.…

Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra

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You can observe a lot just by watchin'.

C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

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A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you.

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

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It is by the goodness of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Confucius

Confucius

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To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to…

Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

Richard Bach

Richard Bach

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Real love stories never have endings.

J.R.R. Tolkien

J.R.R. Tolkien

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The wise speak only of what they know.

Christopher Morley

Christopher Morley

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People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves so much faster, that we are thinking faster, too.

Richard Harris Barham

Richard Harris Barham

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Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoken to.

Fred Allen

Fred Allen

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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns -- he should be drawn and quoted.

Jack Handey

Jack Handey

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus's-flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But…

C.S. Lewis

C.S. Lewis

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Without the aid of trained emotions the intellect is powerless against the animal organism.

Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo da Vinci

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Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.

Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter S. Thompson

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America...just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who…

Lemuel Washburn

Lemuel Washburn

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What a queer thing is Christian salvation! Believing in firemen will not save a burning house; believing in doctors will not make one well, but believing in a savior saves…

Nachman of Bratslav

Nachman of Bratslav

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When a man is able to take abuse with a smile, he is worthy to become a leader.

Bill Maher

Bill Maher

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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie

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Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that…

Blaise Pascal

Blaise Pascal

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The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

Nachman of Bratslav

Nachman of Bratslav

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The prosperity of a country can be seen simply in how it treats its old people.

Robert Frost

Robert Frost

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A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.

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